The Assassin’s Creed gap year is great because I hated Assassin’s Creed III

I love the fact that Assassin’s Creed is taking a gap year. Why? Because of AC3.

I was thinking about making some sort of “Top Ten 2015” list – after all, everyone else is doing one. All I needed to do was get a bunch of games from 2015, rank them, talk about them, and post it online. Easy.


I started with the usual suspects, and… I realised that outside of Fallout 4, I couldn’t name another game from last year. This troubled me, so I booted up my Steam, and trawled through my recent game list to find out how many games from 2015 I’d actually played this year.

Five. That’s five games including Fallout 4. Two of them I’d played for a collective timespan of three minutes. My top ten was now a top five, and I didn’t have much say what went in it. Yay.

I guess that’s just the way it is; outside of people who play games for a living (still got my fingers crossed), the chronically unemployed, and the sick and disabled, no-one has the time to play enough of these games to actually make a top ten.

This year’s winner, pretty much by default.

And that’s why I’m glad Assassin’s Creed is taking a gap year.

My past with Assassin’s Creed is chequered. I originally started with ACII – and I adored it. I played the first game in a matter of days, played far, far too much of Brotherhood, and enjoyed Revelations. So I was obviously stoked for the release of Assassin’s Creed III. And like the lovesick fool I was, I even pre-ordered it.

I tried to like it. I really tried. But when I found I had a personality-less protagonist who genuinely doesn’t give a shit about the storyline, I found my own own enthusiasm wavering. The free-running elements had been gutted – everything I loved about jumping around a city in ACII was missing, replaced by pixel-perfect running at trees and towns that seemed to be built to stop you from having fun. Elements from the past games had been shoe-horned into it in the worst case of feature-creep I’d ever seen. I thought the settlement building stuff would be fun, but that evaporated when I realised I’d have to run across a map for the x-teenth sodding time. Run – not free-run. Run. Through a forest. Be still my fucking beating heart.

All in all, Assassin’s Creed III was the game that killed the Assassin’s Creed franchise for me. Which sucks, because I really, really wanted to like it. I still do. But the franchise has gone on without me, and is now four games ahead, and every time I make an effort to catch up with the series, ACIII comes along and kicks me in the balls, like an eternal cockblocker.

Running through Hell itself to deliver a swift knock to the knackers.

And now I hear from various sources that the Assassin’s Creed series will be skipping a year. And that makes me happy – not because I’m spiteful towards what became a twisted and dark relationship – no, it’s because I need time to catch up. This is exactly the kick up the arse I need – the reason to finally plough through Assassin’s Creed Who-Gives-A-Fuck-About-The-American-Revolution III. Put aside some Hearthstone time, stop playing Dota II, and give up on completing Fallout 4, just for the moment.

Does it help that Ubisoft are apparently going back to the drawing board and using the Witcher 3 as an influence? Goddamn right it does; I haven’t played W3, but from what I’ve heard, AC could use the pointers. And even better, it’s going to be set in Egypt.

The only way this could sound more appealing is if they finally ditched the stupid-ass Animus shit and just went ahead and set a game in Republican / Imperial Rome… that would be better than a shot of viagra directly to the dick.

I have a demon to slay, and its name is Assassin’s Creed III: My Bitch Ex.

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