It’s really tough to write about video games, when you’re spending a lot of your time not playing video games.
So instead, I’m going to write a post about the stuff I want to do.
Like I’ve mentioned before, having a full time job and a full time girlfriend is a real killer for anyone whose only previous goal in life was to play as many video games as possible, and so, playing anything other than the most rudimentary snatches of Hearthstone or Pokemon on my DS has become the norm. Instead of a real update, here’s a list of the stuff I am working on, along with the stuff that I really want to get on top of.
Why? Beats posting nothing, I guess.
One game I have gotten a chance to play is Audiosurf. Being one of my favourite games of all time, I found it a little odd that I only have one video on my channel that’s purely about this game. So I figured I’d make a top ten video detailing my favourite songs to ‘surf. And why not? Top ten videos are one of the more popular formats on YouTube, and Audiosurf is a subject I can talk about without it feeling too forced; certainly a problem when dealing with a format as trite as top tens.
|Such a token image. Just so I have one.|
So that video is currently in development – I’ve shot 90% of the footage I need, and I’ve written 90% of a script for each song on the list. Why only 90%? Because I, er, forgot one song when I was recording all the footage. But that’s no bother, and I should hopefully be able to get that done
Which means I then have to get around to recording my narration. And that’s always been a problem for me. Like everyone else in the world, with the probable exception of Kanye West, I hate the sound of my own voice. Or at least, I hate the sound of it when it doesn’t sound natural. And getting your voice to sound natural when you’re reading lines off a script is not just hard, it’s almost goddamn impossible without training. You can do it with practice, but… I haven’t really had that practice. So I keep getting “performance voice”. Oh yeah, you know the one. It always sounds too forced, and too fake. It probably doesn’t sound like that to anyone else – but to you, it totally does. The same way you can never enjoy something you’ve created because you’re constantly re-editing it as you watch, or seeing parts you should have done differently, I can’t listen to my voice in that context without getting weirded out. And that’s a major barrier to overcome.
But isn’t that what having hobbies is at least partly about? To improve something you love. And goddamn it, I do love myself.
I also have other ideas for more informal videos. I want to do a “Should You Play” on Thief, but I just haven’t played enough of the game to feel like I can really comment yet – plus the bit I did play was months ago now. Perhaps I picked a bad game to critique because I’m not really enjoying it as much as I feel I should be. Which is a shame, because I feel like the game has a lot to offer. Like, a lot. If you like games like that, you’ll probably enjoy Thief.
I also want to shake up that particular format a little. It’s nothing too major, I’m keeping that under my hat for the moment.
Writing is, in some ways, more difficult than the YouTube videos. Whereas I’m simply pressed for time on the videos, writing can be done in small chunks, and I’m just having more difficulty drumming up the enthusiasm to do it. I don’t dislike writing – not at all – it’s that my job saps an awful lot of creative energy, and it’s hard to sustain the energy needed during my lunch break, or when I get home.
I really want to write about easy mode, and how much I enjoy playing on it. But the words just aren’t coming. I guess it’s always best not force these things, so perhaps I can take that as a sign that it’s not meant to be.
Nah, fuck that. I’ll write that bastard.
So what’s the real point of this post? Mostly to prove to myself that I am still capable of creativity, and that progress is incoming, just at a snail’s pace. My YouTube channel and my blog might have suffered as a result of this new job, but I’m confident that I can balance the time out eventually. I just have to keep on trying.
Oh, and I did get an online portfolio for my writings up. So that’s a thing that I did. Go check out some of the stuff I did, especially if you’re interested in seeing a couple of the blog posts I did in a professional role.
But that’s all from me now. I doubt I’ll get this out this lunch break – I’ll leave it up to Future Mark to edit this down and get all the links in the right places, and the italics on game names… you know, the grunt work. But that’s okay, because Future Mark is a bastard and deserves all he gets.